“I hope I haven’t already driven past my greatest moments. I hope there is something beautiful on the horizon that’s just as impatient as I am. Something so eager, it wants to meet me halfway.”
-Rudy Francisco, Helium
Today’s LitBowl prompt is inspired by this quote from Rudy Francisco’s book, Helium. For more inspiration, get the book below!
Prompt: Write about one “greatest” moment that you’ve already passed, and one that you hope is on the road ahead. You could do this as two paragraphs/scenes, or as a poem in two stanzas, or any other form that feels right for you!
Feel free to respond in the comments below! In the future, we plan to share some of our favorite excerpts from writers like you!
Get inspired
a glance up
no one is there
tears flow
a glance up
hope is where?
I guess I could go
but then a man
one tall and kind
swoops me into loving hands
he wipes the tears
and shows me hope
so I have nothing to fear.
a father
a real man
with real love
a mother
a strong woman
with real love
and one day I hope
to show this love too
to a young one who
needs the world renewed
Thank you for sharing!
My heart is pounding. I can’t breathe.
All these years, meeting halfway, making promises for the future. A future that I knew had to wait, wait ,wait.
Truth was only spoken in whispered tones… lips to ears… both of us afraid to say it, the feeling that we might break under the weight of what must be…”I love you”, “I’m yours”, “I found you”, “If only”, “If only”, “If only”
Now I’m here, waiting for you. Kundera’s The Unbearable Lightness of Being open on my lap. You remember? “Muss es sein?”
Breathe.
You’re here. You steady me. I’m ready.
You take my hand. “Es muss sein!”
that is beautiful.
And I ran
I ran from hope
I ran from love
I ran because of fear
But you were a stop sign
A dead end
A road block with outstretched arms
Reaching out to save me
This is absolutely wonderful.
All Vices, No Virtue
I stand here
as a woman.
A tree?
No. A human body,
with branches so rooted
in the ground,
yet somehow growing
endless
endless
endless vines of thoughts,
forever
towing the line of
being fearful and
distraught.
I am
adamant
that I can drive my car
and it can lead me to
the highest mountain
or at least
the highest
altitude
I can find
where I can no longer
live in the past
or
the future,
just
be present.
Just–
be present.
I can’t.
I close my eyes
and I think I can
erase the moment
just this once
but the gods holding
my insides together
tell me
there’s not enough
energy left.
I’m torn between
pushing myself past my
breaking point
and
faking the smile for
everyone’s entertainment.
Before I get a chance to choose,
my brain is already
shuffling
my words
like a
Spotify playlist
and I’m
desperately
trying to
pick out the
ones that are the most
interesting
to me, but
none of the words make sense
when you
string them together.
Believe it or not,
no matter how
much you tell yourself you’re
fine,
you’re just calling yourself present
for the sake
of everyone else.
First:
Anxious thoughts pushed back for a week, maybe two. Will I ever get a call? Pacing in a room on the phone. Tears flowing from my eyes. I had never cried because I was so happy; cried for pure excitement. The other words she was saying didn’t even matter. All I heard was, “there is a baby boy, you can pick him up tomorrow, there’s almost no chance an adoption won’t go through,” I was shaking. How can this be: that after all the pain I went through, losing my own twins, that maybe everyone was right. Maybe things do get better. Then I thought with a grin on my face, “how am I going to be able to wait one more night,” even after the years of waiting. I stood still for a moment and savored that pure happiness, hope, and the start of some much needed healing. For a whole minute, maybe two, I stood alone with this good news that only I could see sparkling around me like a first snowfall and enjoying the full feeling in my heart that had been empty so long. Then I shared the news, calling everyone I could think of, and cried again. When we picked him up, on that rainy ride home I stared down at him and just kept thinking, “there isn’t a word for a love this strong. I didn’t make you but I already love you more than I could ever love myself. I hope you can feel how loved you are, little one.”
Second:
What is this feeling? Waking up next to him, and not feeling lost. The last few years have been beyond hard. But this morning, I woke up, saw him, and smiled. Normally I wake up to my heart wrenching all over again. My mind recounting all the pain I’ve endured the last few years. Normally I go through it like a shopping list; a justification to my own self pity and persistent wallowing. #1 losing the twins. #2 losing that precious baby boy because adoption isn’t ever guaranteed. #3 Saying goodbye the little girl we both loved, who is full of fire and life but was not allowed to stay our daughter for more than a few months. #4 Giving up on foster-to-adopt because my heart can’t take it anymore. #5 Losing my husband. Seeing the girls he has been talking to on his phone. Realizing he might not have ever loved me from the beginning. Hearing him say, “you could never give me children,” as if I hadn’t nearly killed myself trying. #6 Getting diagnosed with this illness and knowing that this chronic pain will never go away. It’s a pretty good list for someone who used to love her self pity. For a woman who wants to feel that familiar pain. But now I wake up next to someone else and think maybe, just maybe, my life is okay. Now I look back on memories and cherish the times I had. Now I smile and shake my head at the bad thoughts when they try to creep thier way back in. Now I am greatful for every small happiness. My sadness is no longer the shrine of a god I am devoted to serving. It is a pile of photographs and melancholy sigh. It’s too bad life can’t stay as happy and perfect as it was, but I am anxious again to see what it will bring me. Sure that I will feel a different kind of full heart again, maybe even someday soon.
Burning brightly, sprightly,
Feeling flighty, mighty,
Flee, free, unrestrained,
Dimming lights, rending chains,
Burgeoning, purging, turning,
Not seeing threads unfurling.
Effort, reward, expectations,
Wrestle with fierce mechanations,
Struggle, strive, overcome,
Undo what can be undone,
Not to fritter, not to fray,
Maybe I won’t go, today.