“I have clawed my way to okay
and it will just have to do for now.”
-Rachel Wiley, Nothing Is Okay
Today’s LitBowl prompt is inspired by this quote from Rachel Wiley’s empowering book, Nothing Is Okay. For more inspiration, get the book below!
Prompt:
Write about a time in your life when “okay” had to be good enough. Was this a moment in the past? A longer season? Have things improved? Are you still there?
Feel free to respond in the comments below! We’ve been loving the responses we’ve received to all of our prompts so far, and we can’t wait to see what you folks keep writing.
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yesterday you saw me crying.
can’t find the words but i am trying.
worlds apart i know but
both of us are dying.
won’t you come inside my head,
it’s not so cold.
you can keep your shoes on i
will take your coat.
we’re all okay and we’re all not.
we’re all at the mercy of what
we’ve been brought.
you hide it well with that disguise.
but there’s an ocean
inside of your eyes.
would you like a drink or something.
cupboards bare and they are aching.
wanting more from this old life
that’s for the taking.
won’t you come inside my head,
i’ve built a door.
you can have a look around
i’ll show you more.
we’re all okay and we’re all not.
we’re all at the mercy of what
we’ve been taught.
i’m out at sea, you pace the shores.
and i know you know
when it rains, it pours.
ahhh ahhh
i am screaming.
you are praying.
you are just thinking
what i am saying.
you are just thinking
what i am saying.
i’ll make the bed
i think you’re staying.
Amazing…..
It’s 5 am and I can’t sleep.
I let the water pour over me.
It reminds me of the thunderstorm inside my head.
My thoughts are saturated with our memories.
Like the claps of thunder they play inside my mind.
The bolts of lightening send shocks to my core.
It’s like I feel your touch.
Once again, for a fleeting moment,
I’m electrified.
With a loud crack I splinter and break.
Part of me has died.
But in the shade of that darkness moss started to grow.
See even if I want to die.
Everything in me wants to live.
To thrive.
My love for you was like a sapling yearning to be a giant red oak.
To grow and give you refuge from the storm.
But I didn’t realize you were a hurricane.
And baby, no one was protecting me.
I let the storm drench me.
The water stings and pricks my pale white skin.
There are a few more scars since you left.
It never gets hot enough to burn your memory from me.
It’s 5am.
just like your love for me the water has run cold.
I take shelter in my bed.
My anxiety and fears wrap their crooked fingers around me.
They cover me with their warmth.
Alone in this darkness they have become friends.
Each night I come home I know at least they will be here for me.
In the morning I’ll wake and put a smile on my face.
Because no one likes a depressed girl.
But it’s 5 am and I don’t have to hide.
“Okay” can be a shameful word. It is a weight in my chest alongside 18 units of coursework. In a society that requires its extraordinary young people to become savant in a sea of other young savants, being just “okay” is a mortal sin.
“Okay” is equivalent to complete and utter failure. “Okay” means losing an opportunity to make “better” rather than choosing to settle. “Okay” means scanning every line in a poem to ensure it is grammatically correct and spelled properly. Eventually, “better” turns into the new “Okay”. By then, “Okay” means ignoring deadlines and declining party invitations in search of the new “better”. “Okay” means taking graveyard shifts to cover financial aid. “Okay” means staring at a blank page because you’re scared of what might happen when it’s inked. “Okay” means failure in ALL its uncontrollable manifestations.
That’s certainly not what it *should* mean, but it’s what it *does* mean.
Maybe one day, “Okay” will lose its meaning. Repeated words *do* lose meaning over time.
The fines spew from my mouth
Spending my awful
To make sure you know I’m okay.
Cashing in my wants
To make sure you have your great.
Cutting into my intact
To make sure you’re at equilibrium.
I lost my life
making sure that yours
was always found.
I marked the X’s
Dotted the i’s
Knowing my t’s
Were getting cold and pale.
You got my heart /so you’ll love twice as much
You got my eyes/to see life through another lens
You got my legs/to walk you out of the dark
You got my hands/to hold when alone
You got my everything/to make sure you will always be more than okay.